so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
