I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Two words: nipple clamps
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