I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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