just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
