so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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