U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
