oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize