Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
