walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
