Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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