I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
