I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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