A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You were trust falling into bushes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
