You're completely useless in the revolution.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize