since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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