no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
