The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Mom said you looked used
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
