I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
