You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He has the fingertips of a God
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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