You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
