I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
