I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize