Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize