My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
