I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
