i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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