Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
