She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
