Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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