My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
handjob tips. give me some.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
