Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
