the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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