I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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