doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
