oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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