After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's never too late to be topless.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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