You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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