i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
