There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There r osticjed everywhere
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
