with your own penis?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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