i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
