1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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