Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
