We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
