Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
