Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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