I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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