I want to stick my p in your. b.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We need to get me chipped asap
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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