If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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