I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
