I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is wine microwaveable?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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