he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
