I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
