I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
