my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
