bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
