so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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