If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
