I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The power of my boobs compel you
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
