One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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